NSW Wine Distributor Runs for Federal Parliament  (2 Nov)

 

Stop the presses! At 3.am yesterday morning (1 November) Shane Redmond, the proprietor of Lewis Fine Wines, announced to a packed peanut gallery at the Canberra Casino, that he will be running for the Liberal Party in the upcoming Australian Federal Election.

 

 

 

(Photo by John Glaetzer)

 

Mr Redmond also announced that his campaign manager would be John Glaetzer, the former winemaker for that tantrum-throwing little kraut, Wolf Blass. His campaign mangler is well qualified to hold this post after having spent a number of years negotiating his way through the corporate political bullshit at Fosters. In an exclusive interview with TORBWine, through a cloud of cigarette smoke, Mr Glaetzer stated that due to his corporate experience, he was in a unique position to ensure that his candidate would be spruiking copious quantities of vaporous promises and flatulent rhetoric.            

 

It is understood that Mr Redmond's main financial backer is Benson Hedges, a deal done thanks to the clout that Mr Glaetzer holds as B&H's most valuable customer. Mr Redmond is a key member of the Liberal Party's election team and is supporting John Howard with critical input into the psyche of the Australian wine and spirit drinker. Based on his years of personal experience as a first class piss pot, Mr Redmond is extremely well qualified for this position.

 

Campaign contributions can be sent to the Shane Redmond for the Senate Fund care of the Northbridge Pub.        

 

 

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