Shades of Red Bigotry – by Murray Almond

While the bigots claim their Bigotariousness as "Red", there are, in fact, various shades of the colour; here's a partial list below, along with some clarifying explanations, described in a balanced and unbiased manner.

RPB Red-Purple Bigot
Typified by the purple tinge of young red wines, typically South Australian. Ideally drunk within months, or at best a year, of bottling.

PBB Purple-Black Bigot
As above but with heavy full-bodied character, think Barossa Shiraz with gobs of American oak. Typically drunk within weeks of bottling, probably as soon as Parker has scored it over 90, or else when it appears on a Grateful Palate mailer.

RRB Real Red Bigot
A red with a year or so in the cellar, and still showing plenty of fruit, hints of the balance to come and a healthy whack of tannin.

BRB Brick Red Bigot
A red with a few to many of years aging, depending on it's structure. It's lost it's jammy overtones and starting showing the glorious bloom of secondary characters with all elements delightly in balance with the tannins softening and integrating before a deliciously long finish

PBRB Pale Brick Red Bigot
A really good Pinot with a few years on it (I've got to cater for all Bigots here).

RBB Red-Brown Bigot
A red that's been around for quite a few years, possibly plateauing. Perhaps showing the whisper of varietal fruit character, old chest of drawers aroma, fully integrated tannins and a slightly delicate finish.

BB Brown Bigot
That bottle of 1964 Penfolds HR/SA Shiraz Mataro that Uncle Phil stored next to the fireplace for just the right occasion

CCRB Cool Climate Red Bigot

For the odd elegant cabernet and peppery Shiraz or

VPRB Vintage Port RB

SRRB Sparkling Red Red Bigot

BBRRB Big Ballsy Rutherglen Red Bigot for the likes of Warrabilla

and then we have the

RBWODFEB Recalcitrant Bastard Who Only Drinks For Effect Bigot

and aint that one the truth!
 

Now which one are you?